By Slade Shaw
Author of Why Men Pull Away
Learn exactly what pushes men to leave…and how to NEVER feel abandoned or rejected
7 Dating Mistakes That Turn Men Off
Did you know that there are some things that a woman can do that will instantly ruin her chances with a guy, even if he was interested in her beforehand?
In fact, these are things that women may think are sweet, cute or funny at the time, without even realizing how much damage they are causing to their connection with a guy.
These things set off big warning bells in a guy’s head and can make him go from ‘keen’ to ‘not interested’ the flick of a switch.
You NEED to know what they are NOW, so you can be sure to avoid ever unknowingly sabotaging any of your future dates.
Mistake #1: Disrespecting the male population
In today’s society, it’s quite common to poke fun at the male race and their shortcomings. And at the same time, point out that women are the ‘superior sex’.
How many family comedy shows are there now where the main storyline is all based around the life of a guy who just never gets it right, and always needs his wife to clean up his messes?
Although this kind of humor can be okay sometimes, men can get pretty sick of hearing the message that being a guy = being dumb.
Comments like “it was a typical man thing to do”, “he had a man’s look”, “he’s just got the man flu”, “that’s what all guys are like” can really grind a guy’s gears.
And rightly so, as these comments can just be downright disrespectful and sexist.
Just as women don’t like it when they hear things like “woman driver”, “typical woman” or “doing it like a girl”, guys can get pretty tired of it too.
And if he hears anything like the comments above from you, even in reference to one of his friends or another guy, it can make HIM feel disrespected. Even if you were trying to make a joke or lighten the mood.
The same thing applies when he hears you saying something like this to one of your girlfriends – so be very careful with what you’re saying when guys are around.
Remember, your date wants to feel like a MAN who has everything under control. And when you question or poke fun at his actions or even any OTHER guy’s, this can put a big giant hole in his ego.
Mistake #2: Being preoccupied with your appearance
This one may come as a surprise, as all dating self-help guides will give you the same message: you need to make extra-special effort with your appearance and ‘dress to impress’ when trying to catch a guy.
And it’s true, guys do like their girlfriends to look good.
But what they DON’T like is when they are dating a woman who is so preoccupied with maintaining her ‘perfect’ appearance that she can’t cut loose and have a little fun.
For instance, when she doesn’t want to do any kind of physical activity on a date in fear of messing up her hair or makeup. Or when she can’t do anything exciting at the festival because she wore a short skintight dress which restricts her every move.
Men are also put off when a woman’s appearance comes across as being ‘fake’. Although subtle makeup can be a great way to accentuate your natural features, most guys will agree that seeing a woman coated in makeup is a major turn-off.
This also goes for fake tan, fake boobs, false eyelashes, 5-inch heels and hair extensions. Any of these can be a red flag for a guy and give him the impression that you aren’t comfortable showing your true self.
Any of these things, especially when used in combination, can give a guy the impression that a woman is ‘high maintenance’ and this can deter him from wanting her as a relationship partner.
A little makeup and some color in your hair can be a nice way to enhance your natural features, but it is easy to make the mistake of going too far.
If a guy is attracted to you, he won’t tend to notice too many small changes in your hair, clothes or weight.
But he will notice if you spend an hour in the bathroom getting your hair and makeup ready every day, or stop to check yourself out in every reflective surface you walk past.
Mistake #3: Not accepting a guy’s compliments
One thing which you may also be surprised to find out that is that men are really turned off when women DON’T ACCEPT their compliments.
I’m sure we’ve all done this in some way before. Often it is the first natural reaction to start shaking your head and telling a guy all of the reasons why you’re not as beautiful, caring, smart or competent as what he’s saying you are.
For instance, “Your hair looks really nice”. “Ugh no, it’s so dry and full of split ends at the moment and my roots are showing. I need to get it redone”.
When a guy hears you talking down about yourself, you are reducing your own value and showing you have low levels of self-worth.
A guy doesn’t want to go into a relationship thinking he’s going to have to ‘fix’ you, or be constantly reassuring you that he likes you and the way you look. And it can actually be quite offensive to a guy when he compliments a girl and she doesn’t say ‘thank you’.
Remember, confidence is sexy. And when dating, we want to be showing ourselves at our best. If a guy wants to compliment you, he genuinely means it. So start believing and start accepting compliments with grace.
So in future, whenever a guy pays you a compliment, be sure to say “Thank you”, smile, and give him a compliment in return.
By accepting his compliments, you are NOT being arrogant; you are simply thanking him for something nice he’s said to you and giving the message that yes – you are as beautiful, caring, smart or competent as he’s saying you are.
Mistake #4: Being too promiscuous
Again, guys love it when you look nice and make a little effort for them (as long as you don’t go overboard).
But although it’s okay to add a little sexiness to an outfit, such as a hint of leg or cleavage, wearing something TOO revealing and coming on too heavy straight away can actually put a guy OFF.
Have you ever wondered why it never seems to work out when a woman sleeps with a guy after their first date?
It’s because that woman has come across as being ‘too easy’ and has lowered her value in his eyes. In other words, he assumes that she’s someone who would sleep with any guy she took an interest in straight away.
And this doesn’t make him feel special. He wants to feel like he had to work to get you, and that you especially chose him from the rest.
This also goes for the way he sees you interacting with other guys. There’s nothing worse to a guy that seeing his date flirting with other men around.
Although you may think you’re just being friendly, or are trying to make him more interested in you by showing him that others are interested in you, in reality it is just a turn-off. Even talking lots about your guy friends to your date can make him feel threatened.
Although it’s totally fine to talk and be nice to other guys, be really careful about the boundaries between being ‘friendly’ and flirting.
If you show your date that you ONLY have eyes for him, he will feel like he has landed himself a real winner.
Mistake #5: Taking over the conversation
Sometimes when we feel like we’re connecting with someone, we start trying to finish off their sentences, without even realizing we’re doing it.
But assuming you know exactly what a guy is trying to say before he’s had a chance to fully explain himself is a big mistake.
A high proportion of men report that being interrupted by a woman during conversation, even if she finishes his sentence correctly, is a major turn-off.
Instead, always wait for him to finish, even if he pauses for a little while. Sometimes people just need a bit of time to think something through before they can answer completely, and there is nothing more irritating than having someone jump in and break up your pattern of thought.
A lot of men also report feeling ‘overwhelmed’ or ‘put off’ by women who talk too much in conversation, especially if they are jumping from topic-to-topic, or talking just about themselves.
Sometimes it can be easy to talk too much on a date, especially when you’re feeling nervous. You’re trying to avoid any awkward silences and instead end up going too far in the other direction.
But really, silences can be a chance to make eye contact, smile and connect. Embrace them, and make sure the conversation is always feeling like a two-way street.
Mistake #6: Comparing him with other people (especially your ex!)
You’re just getting to know your date. And sure, he may be a builder, just like your ex was. Or a football player, like your brother.
But if he feels that you’re constantly making comparisons between him and other guys, he may start feeling like he’s being sized up. Especially if it’s your ex you’re comparing him to (avoid bringing up your ex at all costs!).
So resist the urge to make lots of connections and instead focus on your date and what he’s telling you about. After all, his experience of something could be a lot different to someone else’s.
The guy you’re with wants to impress you and feel that you see him as special and unique. So just tread lightly in this area and be sure to show an interest in everything that is meaningful in his life.
Mistake #7: Getting too comfortable too soon
When you’re at the relationship stage, your man may come to rely on your help and support in many areas of his life.
But the dating stage is supposed to be flirty and fun. When dating, a guy needs to feel like a MAN that has everything under control.
If you start being too ‘mother-like’, asking him questions such as “Are you warm enough?” or “How are you feeling?” this is not going to make him feel sexy.
You may think you’re being nice and sweet, but he might think you’re being smothering.
This is even more true when you’re going out with a younger man – he needs to feel that you see him as an equal rather than a ‘toyboy’. Because he wants to be able to take care of YOU.
If you start acting as if you are already in a long-term relationship too soon, it will take the sexiness and excitement away from the dating stage. Which might have a guy thinking: “This is not what I signed up for”.
If you want to keep the passion alive, you need to let your man chase you a little and always leave a hint of mystery to keep him wanting more.
This means making an effort in your appearance, maintaining classiness, and avoiding getting into any heavy or personal topics to soon In the dating stage. Have fun, laugh, let your hair down and don’t bring up anything about your future together.
The men who fall in love the hardest are the ones that have to do some chasing first.
If you’re ready to take the plunge and learn why men pull away – Click here to watch my free video presentation…